Special thanks to Sarah Ann, who made today's Ask the Cast answer waaaaaaaay easier! Here's what she had to say about the recipe (I tried to hand-letter it, but it was taking foreeeeever!):
"So whilst re-reading your comic I stumbled upon the section where Erin makes these cookies that sound absolutely amazing...needless to say I spent a day in the kitchen fiddling around with the idea and came out with what has officially passed the Amazing-Test. I had a total of 15 people try these cookies so far without telling them what is in them. 15 of 15 loved them and wanted the recipe. at least 7 of the 15 didn't like pears and or raisins, but loved the cookies all the same, and even said if they had KNOWN they wouldn't have even tried them."
So, even if you don't like pears or raisins, you may love this recipe! Win!
And if anyone comes up with a gluten-free version, you better share that shit! ;)