Here's a fresh blog post, in which I have absolutely nothing to say, posted solely to give y'all more room for comments.

Shit, do I really have NOTHING to add? Huh. That feels a little cheap. Here's a recipe I made up.

Danielle's Protein Blast (not semen)

• 1/8 cup dry quinoa
• 1/4 cup chicken broth
• 5-7 Brussels sprouts
• 1-2 leaves of kale (optional)
• 1 egg
• oil (I use olive or peanut)
• dash of soy salt (or salt)

Bring the chicken broth to a boil in a saucepan, add quinoa, cover, and set to low heat for 13 minutes (your time may vary depending on your stove and the saucepan, so just make the quinoa not-crunchy). 

While the quinoa simmers, lightly coat another pan with 1 part oil and 1 part water and bring it to medium heat. Roughly chop your Brussels sprouts into a pleasing size (I cut 'em up into eighths). Toss the sprouts into the pan, cover, and let them soften & cook for around 8 minutes (check on them and stir frequently to keep them from burning). If you have kale, cut it into small pieces and add it to the sprouts halfway through the 8-ish minutes.

Once the sprouts and kale are cooked, put them in a bowl (or you can go ahead and add them directly to the quiona while it continues to cook, if you're lazy like me) and drop an egg into the oiled pan. Scramble said egg, or just leave it fried if you prefer your yolks gooey, you fucking sicko.

Mix the quinoa, sprouts, kale, and egg and add just a drop or two of soy sauce (I promise you won't need very much!). Eat, enjoy, and tell everyone you ate something really fucking healthy today.

Gluten-free: make sure your soy sauce is gluten free (aka does not say "wheat" in the ingredients) if you're cooking for a Celiac like me! Fuck that generic shit, they always add wheat! Heathens!

Vegan/vegetarian: replace chicken stock with veggie stock (I guess??) or just use the same amount of water, and leave out the egg, that is not fucking vegan, do you even understand where eggs come from?

Serves one lonely alone-eater. Double the recipe if you find/force a friend to eat with you.